Monday, December 26, 2011

Loaded Christmas, Bye Monkey

Christmas, with the presents, chaos, and love came early for us this year. We opened presents here three days early, as we would all be in different houses on Christmas Day. We made it through the hectic opening of presents with only a few screams of, "That's mine, she can't look at it."  Joy mostly was the order of the moment... that is until about 5 minutes after all the presents were opened. That is when the tears, pain, and emotions all reared their little heads.

Lets back up a bit.  Most families are stressed out at Christmas.  Most have tantrums and their fair share of the humbugs and humdrum.  For my little family, it was a different kind of stress this year.  Buddy and Bug were really missing their Mom and we talked a lot about the upcoming departure of Monkey.  I had spoken to her social worker earlier in the week and we had finally gotten the final word that she'd be moving the day after we opened presents.  So right after we opened presents and put Buddy and Bug to bed, we all knew we'd be packing up Monkey's room and she'd be moving the next day.  Moving is always hard. Kids generally excited, nervous, scared, sad and happy -- all at the same time when thinking about and getting ready for a move.  And Monkey was no exception.

Back to presents.  They were opened.  Kids were happy.  Kids were stressed.  Then the tears started...

"I want my Mommy.  I miss my Mommy."
"I don't want to move."
"That is my toy, she can't look at it!  She is still looking at it!"

On repeat.  For the next two hours.  Saved by bedtime.  To bed dear Buddy and Bug.  To packing dear Monkey.

Through more tears, Monkey and I packed up her room, her clothes, and all her toys.  The next day, we said goodbye to dear Monkey.  I am going to miss that girl.  She was so, so busy, with so many questions.  She gave me a run for my money every day, but I miss her already.  I have a feeling I will see her again though because she has already called me yesterday and today.

I know my story isn't unique - life in the foster care warp is hard.  The holidays are just a bit harder.  But, even with everything it involved, I am glad I was a part of it.  This is my life and I am glad I am part of my little brood and all the drama, because with it comes all the love and all of the healed and healing families.

So from me to yours, I pray for you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.