Falling

Baby girl is beautiful, funny, giggly, content and so full of joy. Even on her crankiest day, I am smitten and quickly losing my heart to her. She's only been here for 3 weeks, yet my heart beams with pride and joy when I think of her and when I watch her crawl, learn new things, just live her life.

It is so right that she is getting the love she needs and the pieces of my broken foster mamma's heart are healing bit by bit by her presence here.  On the flip side, her parents love her more than I do and are desperately trying to get her back.  I really like her parents. I root for them. I pray for them. I want them to all live together again if possible.

Yet, If they do it, if they get her back - I will rejoice with them and weep for myself because I already know I will be broken by it.  And if they can't do it, if she can't go home to them - I will weep for them and for Baby girl.  Foster care is heartache.

Today, I just want to treasure the gift she is, both the sweet baby and the adult she will become.  Her whole life is before her and right now that life is connected to mine.  I want to just keep loving her as long as I can and enjoy every minute.