Sunday, November 11, 2012

Self Care

"Self care is personal health maintenance. It is any activity of an individual, family or community, with the intention of improving or restoring health, or treating or preventing disease." (Wiki)

I thought I should put a definition because I must not truly understand what it means, because I tend to suck at it. Right now I am in a season of pulling back, regrouping and trying to get myself in a more healthy emotional spot so that I can see whats next. I have now officially had a month and a half with only one sweet, sweet girl in my home. She is amazing and I couldn't ask for a better baby. The thing is though that I still find myself just filling time with pointless activity when she's sleeping instead of trying to be intentional about filling up this heart of mine.

Because at the end of the day I want to be "open" to new kids in January, but that will only happen if I can once again be EXCITED to see my social workers number pop up on the phone... "Maybe there is new kids!!!! I hope the come here!!" Oh the memories. ...that I want to be true again.

Jesus and I had a big discussion last night. Because honestly, I need a change. And self care isn't selfish because, if Mamma ain't healthy, ain't no body healthy.

My self care tends to come down to these two questions:

What makes my heart come alive?
  • What people lift me up emotionally ans spiritually when I am with them? Who do I laugh with the most? Pray with the most? Feel heard with? Do I need to seek out new relationships if I can't come up with any people? 
  • What activities do I truly enjoy? 
What do I need to change so that I can do more of that? (And less of the draining, deadening things)

Here's my own personal working out of those:

An alive heart
  • Call/text or Email one encouraging/uplifting friend a day - I have my besties but I also have about a million facebook friends - why not talk to them? :) 
  • Try to hang out in person with people more often - tricky with a little one, but I can so invite people over here more. 
  • Painting, drawing, decorating, projects, working out, sitting in a hot tub. 
  • Talking to Jesus - reading my Bible, praying, talking to others about God 

What do I need to change so that I can do more of that? (And less of the draining, deadening things)
  • Attempt to read at least some Bible everyday. 
  • Go to the YMCA at least 2x a week (Baby will be okay) 
  • Have a technology free day at least 2x a week (At least after Baby is in bed) - this one might honestly be the hardest. 
  • Limit the amount of times a day I check the internet, email, do work online. 
  • Invite new friends over for dinner at least 2x a month. 

The tricky thing for me isn't getting these things started. As I've said before, I tend to get to this point about 2 1/2 months into a new placement (which by the way is exactly how long Sweetie has been here). The difficultly comes when a new kid comes and I stop everything but the hands on taking care of the kids for another 2 1/2 months. Which makes a year like last year where I had 6 kids come and go in 12 months, so trying, because I never got back to the just living life, taking care of Mamma point. I need to find a way to keep it going. Tricky.

What do ya'all do for self-care and how do you keep it going when kids come and go?


  1. hmmmm....I relate to parts of that post!!! hmmmm.... thanks for putting it out there.

  2. I am definitely shaking my head in agreement with a lot of this post :) I have also been trying to do many of the things on your "change" list and making more time to make myself healthy and happy in all ways. It's so much better for our families in so many ways! Let us know how your journey progresses :)


    This was probably one of the best things I read at a time in my life when I really needed it! Ever since, I have followed the advice and done my best to stick to the goals I created in each of the categories. I am notorious for putting myself last, an honorable trait I have seen modeled in my own parents. However, I have also seen how it can destroy a person and how Satan can use it against the person who was just trying to selflessly serve. I appreciate posts like this and yours that get us talking and thinking about a balance. I hope you find some things that work for you! If you are interested, I have posted about my own personal goals/self-care plans on my blog and you are welcome to read it. I haven't updated on my progress lately, so I probably should do that soon...


It'll be a pleasure hearing your thoughts. Alisa