Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Let's Be Friends

Someday's I wish adult relationships could be as easy as children's relationships.  Buddy is an expert at making friends.  Within minutes he is best friends with another little boy or leading a group of boys around the playground.

It is a little harder with KJ.  She just doesn't get it.  So, we've been working on some friendship-making and keeping skills.  When we get to a new park or somewhere there are a lot of kids, we look together for a girl who is about her same age who "looks nice".  Once she is spotted, I remind Bug that all she needs to do is walk up to her, look her in the eye, smile and say, "Hi, my name is KJ.  Wanna play?"  9 times out of 10 this is all it takes to make a fast friend.

Then when the bickering begins (it always begins with 2 - 3-year-olds playing together), we talk about saying sorry.  I tell her that we say, "I am sorry that I _______ (hit, called names, etc).  Will you forgive me?"  Then you have to try not to do it again.  Again, most of the time, this works wonders.

Adults suck at this!  I suck at this.  Most of the time, I am so caught up in who is friends with who.  What will they think of me?  What if they think I am dumb.  And then we don't talk to anyone at all.   So maybe, if I start acting like a kid again in this area my little corner of the world would be a better place.  So I am working on finding someone who looks nice, walking up to them and saying,

"Hi, my name is Alisa.  Do you want to go get some coffee sometime and talk?"

and the oh so important,

"I'm sorry that I ________ (hurt your feelings, made you feel left out, etc).  Will you forgive me?"

*As far as Bug is concerned, the first thing out of her mouth when I've picked her up from nursery has been, "I MADE TWO FRIENDS today!!!"  Hal-e-lu-ya!